Breaking News: Breaking Bread


Circle of Friends, Ep. 2:


After the premiere episode of Circle of Friends, the friends became so popular on the campus of Oklahoma Wesleyan University, “where Jesus is Lord”, that everyone was clamoring to go on a date with them. Even OKWU’s most prestigious news anchors were itching to meet the tiny celebrities.

Fortune would have it that at the Student Development sponsored event Create-a-Date, Gus Bucklesby and Phyllis Chatskie would get the inside scoop of Chinese food with the friends, along with their biggest fan, the ever-colorful Allie Antrim. (Editor’s note: This story is in no way officially affiliated with Gus Bucklesby, Gus Bucklesby’s Management Company [RedRotz Limited], and Gus Bucklesby, Inc. Any likeness or reference to Gus is purely coincidental and does not violate any current trademarks.)


Many people get terribly nervous just before dates, but not Thornton from the Future and 1980s Skateboard… because they’re not people, but a robot and an antique skateboard.


Everyone agreed that Chinese food would be the choice for supper. A slight disagreement occurred as Gus insisted on going to Hunan Chinese Buffet, because his good friend Jeff Jewitt loves Hunan, but everyone else wanted to go to Asian Cafe, due to its straightforward title.


Allie soon came to learn how funny the Circle of Friends truly are. Excalibur Millard Horse had a particularly whimsical yarn about eating Chinese food once in the home of former NBA superstar Yao Ming.


Gus and Phyllis had a wonderful time catching up on current events. They don’t find much time to reflect on the goings-on of Oklahoma Wesleyan because of such trying personal schedules. Gus spoke elaborately about how much time he spends interacting with students, particularly Ethan May and his Chi-House cohorts. Phyllis too spoke much about her personal hobbies of knitting while staring at people walking by, considering the color mauve, and planning her eventual overthrow of Gus Bucklesby as lead anchor of Eagle News.


Phyllis was very much enamored with the Friends and their shared interests in the wardrobes of various female foreign dignitaries. Over the course of the evening, she and 1980s Skateboard created quite a friendship based on their talent in scowling.


The Circle of Friends did their best to entertain everyone with a routine they came up with during their brief tenure performing with the Russian circus. (Editor’s note: Save our Sriracha)


Excalibur Millard pointed out during the date that Asian Cafe has some of the best tasting water in all of Bartlesville. His experience with the water was so overwhelming that he pranced with sheer exuberance when the crab rangoons arrived.


1980s Skateboard was very excited when the egg drop soup came out. However, having no opposable thumbs to eat the soup by himself, Allie had to offer her assistance. Here she is feeding him some crunchy things, which he particularly enjoys.


Finally the entrées arrived and everyone was in jubilance to eat. Phyllis commented that her beef and broccoli justly symbolized the “news union/partnership that me and my colleague Gustavo share.” Nobody was clear on whether she believed herself the broccoli or the beef. (Editor’s note: Everyone was too afraid to ask.)


Excalibur Millard, who is, in his own words, far above saying how hungry he was (Editor’s note: This), quite enjoyed the carrots.


Everyone was fortunate enough to receive a cookie of their own after dinner. But as with all good things, or “dang good times”, as Gus is keen of quoting Senior P.E. major Ethan May, they must come to an end. Until the next episode…


Written by Ashleigh Johnson and Jarrad Scott McDaniel

Photography by Ashleigh Johnson and Jarrad Scott McDaniel

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