4 Best Hiding Spots on OKWU’s Campus

Hey, OKWU students! If you’re anything like me, the time between Christmas and Summer break is a very sleepy affair, full of springtime naps in the peeping sunlight and waking up disoriented and sweaty and late for class.

SLEEP
“Dangit.”

Look; we are college students.  We don’t get enough sleep at night and rarely have more than an hour of free time each day. Luckily, I’ve devoted the last four years of my OKWU experience to finding good places to sneak a snooze in times of crisis. These are those.

4. The SAS Room (Mansion)

student academic services office

You either know the SAS room as “That place I went once to CLEP out of a class,” or “That place I have to go four hours a week because I don’t do homework.”

As with all rooms in the mansion, the SAS room changes location at random several times a day, but if you do manage to find it, unlimited nappery awaits you. An entire wall of windows facing the afternoon sun will have you basking like a kitten at the beach.

Kitten at the beach
“Yes.”

Unfortunately the SAS room is a place where any OKWU student can get help with schoolwork, so getting caught snoring and drooling is a large possibility. You’ll need to sleep with one ear on the hardwood floor to track the echoes of intruders, and quickly escape to the terrace located outside before SAS workers catch you.

 

3. The Chair-Fort (Library)

library

The OKWU has a library conveniently located smack dab in the middle of campus, which is good for learning or whatever, but hey guess what? If you have class in the Library followed by any other class in another building, you will not have time to cop a quick dorm-nap between them. The distance is just too great.

You’re gonna have to improvise.

That’s right, they’ll pretty much let you move those library chairs any which way, which, for a sleeper on a time-budget, is a dream come true. However, it is important to pick an obscure location for the chair fort, as library staff will immediately stop you and tell you to leave if they catch you before you fall asleep.

2. The Many Closets (CFA)

practice

One of the most well-kept secrets of OKWU is the Great Closet Surplus Fiasco of ’89. Closet prices in America hit an all-time low, and OKWU stocked up, reasoning they could sell the majority for a profit once the market turned back around. The market never turned back around.

Now in the basement of the CFA, you can almost always find an empty closet to crouch in, for moments when the world just seems like too much. You can get away with a solid nap in these rooms, but be careful to sleep in a dignified position, because beautiful foreigners have been known to pop into these closets to practice instruments for some reason, and you don’t want Esmeralda or Dmitri catching you drooling.

womentalking
“He was sleeping on the floor in the practice rooms! I’m NEVER gonna kiss him on the mouth!”

1.The Outflow Pipe (Pond)

ooutflow

Imagine this: After a long day of class and naps, you walk along the sidewalk by the pond, and all you want is to get back to your dorms when suddenly DISASTER STRIKES! You see Esmeralda, the girl who definitely didn’t want to run away with you forever, coming from the opposite direction directly towards you!

womentalking
Oh no!

You try to walk back toward the cafeteria and MORE DISASTER! The professor of the class you skipped today is walking toward you, and he looks like he means business!

OH NO!
OH NO!

You try to flee into the woods and several ducks gather, blocking all escapes!

duck_17203
“Sup?”

Do you dive to your death into the pond, or take responsibility for your actions and just keep walking?

outflow

Of course not. You are an innovator. You are a survivor. You go straight for the outflow pipe. By far the most efficient hiding spot on campus, you can hide there for days on end with nobody being the wiser, except for the ducks, who see all things in their domain.

"OKWU-Tang Clan ain't nothing to duck with!!"
“OKWU-Tang Clan ain’t nothing to duck with!!”

 

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