Tall-Tales or True Stories?

Written By: Emma Baldwin / Photo By: Ashlyen Fisher

We’ve all heard plenty of stories about OKWU and the people who attend the school. Though we’ve become well-acquainted with the lush-green campus and its inhabitants, there may be more lurking in the rose bushes than we think. Some crazy rumors have been spread about our campus. But are they true? Are some exaggerated legends? Are some just downright lies? It’s up to you to guess.

For starters, OKWU’s 2018 Young Alumni of the Year, Adam and Rachel Nash (‘08), suggest that a group of students once caught a goose and named it Mr. Crackers. These students promptly released the goose in Wert Hall to run rampant in the boys’ dorm. Unfortunately, Mr. Crackers’ reign of terror was short-lived. It is said that he eventually bit OKWU’s own Dr. Piper and then disappeared suddenly. Mr. Crackers was never seen again.

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There is a rumor that new faculty members must go through an initiation in order to work at OKWU, sort of a rite of passage. The seasoned faculty wait until the middle of the summer when there are no students around, and then parade the newest members to the center of campus. The new recruits are required to plunge into the slimy moss-filled depths of the campus pond and stay in there for 30 minutes. The faculty members wait until the clock strikes midnight, and one by one the newest teachers dive courageously into the mysterious water.

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The library student workers will tell you a story about one of their own. Once, a student took it upon himself to lug one of the armchairs up the ladder onto the library’s roof. This was not enough for the student, however, and he proceeded to add some homey touches. He even managed to carry his TV onto the roof. I heard that he kept his hideout up there for an entire semester until it was discovered. The workers from B&G now keep the roof access locked for that reason.

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Some say that there was once a small sparrow that broke into the chapel building. He showed his face to the OKWU body during the middle of chapel one dreary day. The students, not wanting to interrupt the speaker, sat still and watched as the bird wandered back and forth on the stage, bobbing his head as the sermon was delivered. It wasn’t until the speaker walked onto the stage to get his notebook after chapel that he saw the creature. He and several other students cornered him and put him in a cardboard box. The speaker decided to keep the wounded bird as a pet and named him Herbert.

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According to OKWU alumna Amy Theis (‘93), it’s rumored that a few students broke into the mansion when the campus bells played from its tower. The miscreants decided to tamper with the bell recordings and spice things up. They changed the peaceful, somewhat-offkey songs we all know so well to hard 80s rock music. The students then super-glued the tower door behind them so that maintenance couldn’t get in to switch the recording back to bell songs. Every hour of every day, the once-quiet campus was filled with obnoxious rock ‘n’ roll for weeks.

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Rumor has it that some of the guys on campus in the early 2000s decided to fill the heating system in Scott Hall with oysters. The briny smell welcomed students as they entered the building. The freshmen’s new neighbors remained in the vents for several weeks, until the B&G workers eventually fished the creatures out.

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Mrs. Theis also said that, years ago, when the library was in the upstairs of the mansion, some students decided to prank the librarian. When she was away, they took all the books off the library shelves and propped them up one after the other on the floor. When the librarian opened the door the next day, it hit one of the books, causing all of them to topple onto each other like a giant set of dominoes–into the hallways and spilling down the stairs. The work-study students were left to clean up the mess.

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Sneaking into the mansion seems to be students’ crowning glory. One group apparently sneaked into the mansion through a window. With the help of a few other students, they decorated the mansion in toilet paper late one night. Unfortunately, their flashlights gave them away and a security guard soon came to stop them. They duct-taped the guard to a bathroom sink and finished their work giggling.

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According to Mrs. Theis, some students in the 90s managed to drive an old Volkswagen bug into the Mueller Center foyer. Once they accomplished this, they tried to cram as many people as they could into the tiny car. They supposedly triumphed with something like a whopping twenty-one people. After they got it out of MSC, they accidentally drove it into the pond, where it sank and remains to this day. That’s probably where the 4-foot carp is living now.

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So maybe OKWU isn’t quite as tame and normal as we thought. Some of these stories are true. Some are myths. We can only guess what the truth is. One thing we do know is that it is up to you to carry on the task of adding new legends to OKWU’s mysterious history. Go and make some memories—but be sure you don’t harm personal property or dignity in your schemes.